life's a kick

With my original Durga This story dates back to 1997. I had turned 13, the year my periods began. Flashback: It had been four years since we had moved to Delhi. Coming from Bokaro, we’d still not warmed up to the national capital. The summers were too hot, the winters too cold, and no rains in between. There was no Bokaro Steel City Club to chill at. The parents of colony children were too strict with playing hours. Open spaces were too few and far between. English was too common, and the city’s fashion standard too pompous for our tastes. And then, as a 9 year old, I finally discovered something I liked about Delhi – the Kanjak Puja . Back in (the then) Bihar, there was no Kanjak Puja . There was only Dushehra, but it was celebrated with inimitable fanfare. We knew of only one Navratri that was celebrated in autumn, and all nine days were days of Durga. Of Kali, the eternal Shakti. The all-powerful goddess with 108 names. In my childhood memories, Dushehra, or...

Not-at-all-dear Patriarchal Society, I know that I’m a huge disappointment to you. I couldn’t have been happier with myself for that. You’re right when you say that women like us have imbalanced the societal order. We indeed have. And we will continue at this noble task till the time that gender balance is restored. Till the time that personal interest, and not gender, determines what we do and what is expected out of us. You’re right when you say that we have corroded your ‘value’ system . According to your values, women are paraaya dhan. Therefore, a lot of you nurture your daughters believing, and making your daughters in turn believe, that marriage is their end goal. And that the daughters’ actual family is the conjugal home, and not the natal home. Naturally, the sons grow up believing that they are the real inheritors and only care-takers for ageing parents. Hence, you forever prepare your daughters to adapt to a new home when they grow up. You ask them t...

 14 साल की शोभा एक संवेदनशील युवती है. अपने उम्र की अन्य किशोरियों की तरह वो जितना स्कूल से सीखती है, उतना ही परिस्थितियों से. उम्र की ढलान कहिये, पुरुष-स्त्री के रिश्ते में आजकल शोभा विशेष रूचि लेती है. दो दिन की छुट्टी में दिल्ली आई है - एक शादी में शामिल होने. विस्तृत परिवार के सदस्यों के भेंट के पुनः बाद शोभा का परिचय नयी भाभी से होता है. शोभा इनकी शादी में शरीक नहीं हो पाई थी, इसलिए पहली बार मिल रही है. भाभी ने शोभा को बड़ी आत्मीयता से गले लगाया और बताया कि उनकी छोटी बहन भी उसी की आयु की है. शोभा ने जाना की लड़की शादी के बाद अपना तन लेकर ससुराल तो आ जाती है, पर उसका मन निरंतर अपने स्वजनों के लिए कचोटता रहता है. …………………. शादी से एक रात पहले की कॉकटेल पार्टी है और ड्रेस कोड वेस्टर्न वियर तय किया गया है. लम्बे काले गाउन, चमकीले स्कर्ट, टिमटिमाते स्कार्फ़ में औरतें फब रही हैं. यहाँ तक की मेरठ वाली चची ने भी कुरता-पैंट पहना है. बस एक भाभी है जो इस अवसर पर भी पीली कांजीवरम की सड़ी पहने डोल रही है. जब शोभा ने पूछा तो भाभी ने हंसकर टाल दिया. मस्ती और डांस का माहौल है. सभी ठुमक रहे...

They are everywhere. Slavering with stories and theories on women. They are found among both sexes. Gossiping about women is their chief pastime. Like herds, their thoughts on the subject are all the same. That women envy each other. That women can never be true friends with other women. That women are poor drivers. That women nag. That women are family breakers. That parenting is a woman’s responsibility. That women are born to be homemakers. That career women are social threats. Etcetera.    “You know what, when we men become friends, we barely care about each other’s wealth or assets. We simply chill out. But when women are together, all they notice is the jewelry and clothes of other women.” I’ve heard self-appointed social commentators explain. Let’s ask them – do you remember the cars and official positions of your male friends? Yes, you do. Because you take interest in cars and designations. People remember what interests them. Social conditioning is a si...