life's a kick

  Some folks have it. The ability to talk for hours without meaning a thing. Hi, I am Jargon. I come in handy to disguise shallow language sense. I even save the day if you lack the courage to speak the truth. I usually seek time to check and get back to you, because I know how short your attention span is, and how you’re going to forget this after six seconds. I am great at specifying the need to peel the onion before getting into the task because I dread working. See, I just gave the Hindi idiom of pyaaz chheelna a new lease of life. As they say, old wine in a new bottle. Wink wink. I’m often banking on the synergy of other people because I am unparalleled at social loafing. This is why I insist on touching base, and not dissecting through. When I’m borrowing other people’s original thoughts, you may label them as stealing, but I’m actually curating thoughts and experiences for a bleeding edge customer experience. I love the creative stuff. Or the disruptive stuff. Take yo...

  The work of leadership profiling entails both – the portrayal of the edifice and its continuous upgrading Every time I have seen vacancies for the Communications function solely harping on ‘Branding and PR’, I have cringed inside. The ask is so little. One of the earliest and best examples of Leadership Branding that we know of exists in popular folklore of Akbar and Birbal. The former is a king and a venerated leader, and the latter his sharp and witty counsel. As a court advisor to the king, Birbal not only adds sheen to Akbar’s popularity, but foundational strength to his leader’s rule. The instances are galore. He helps his leader understand the ground realities of his gemba . He comes to the rescue of those who may be suffering injustice at the hands of the leader. He educates and sensitizes his leader on the changing spirit of times, keeping Akbar updated with news and views. He even manages to prick the ego bubble that the leader sometimes lapses into. He does all this w...

  Who are we? Genuine seekers or under-cover hypocrites garbed as intellectuals? It is true that there are good, average, and bad employers. It is equally true that there are forever dissatisfied employees asking for more. That’s why there are consultants and agencies selling us the dream of contented and happy employees. They know it’s a matter of dreams alone. Let’s get realistic. We are human beings. We are never satisfied with what we get. If the salary doesn’t have a variable component, we’re like: Where the additional ‘incentive’ to perform? If the salary does have a variable amount, we hate that uncertainty. If we get 30% of our incentive, we bemoan the remaining that doesn’t come by. If we get the full amount, we compare it against 3x incentives received by our friends in the banking sector (never mind the working hours). If we don’t have a job rotation policy, we feel stagnated. If we have a job rotation policy, we feel our competitive advantage isn’t used best. If the o...

Not-at-all-dear Patriarchal Society, I know that I’m a huge disappointment to you. I couldn’t have been happier with myself for that. You’re right when you say that women like us have imbalanced the societal order. We indeed have. And we will continue at this noble task till the time that gender balance is restored. Till the time that personal interest, and not gender, determines what we do and what is expected out of us. You’re right when you say that we have corroded your ‘value’ system . According to your values, women are paraaya dhan. Therefore, a lot of you nurture your daughters believing, and making your daughters in turn believe, that marriage is their end goal. And that the daughters’ actual family is the conjugal home, and not the natal home. Naturally, the sons grow up believing that they are the real inheritors and only care-takers for ageing parents. Hence, you forever prepare your daughters to adapt to a new home when they grow up. You ask them t...

“Ae sun, main tera naam bhool gayi” (Hey there, I forgot your name). She remarked with cocky impudence, pointing her index finger in his face. “Shukriya bhagwaan ka ki bhool gayi” (Thank God you forgot it). He spat back with matching distaste. Face deadpan. Eyes challenging. Two seconds later, they burst out laughing. She slapped him on the back, and he jumped as though bitten by a snake. Smiling ear to ear, the two proceeded in opposite directions. She, the store GM. He, the pantry boy. This is what the woman looked like, smiling and professional, draped in a perfect sari  All this transpired in ten seconds, while I was waiting my turn for using the washroom. Rewind 30 minutes. I was out shopping at this store in Connaught Place with my mother. We were trying (like all good Indian buyers) to get some discount on the stated price. That’s when we were introduced to this woman, the Store Manager. She heard us patiently on how we’d sworn by the store for the l...

Dear IIMC students who participated in the Jindal Stainless internship selection test on April 5, A day spent with you gave me much to remember, learn, and respect. It transported me back to my days at Indian Institute of Mass Communication, 13 years ago. I’d look at fellow students with awe, a tad too conscious of being present among geniuses. That was exactly how you made me feel among you. I was once again marveling at the selection procedure of IIMC, that brings home such an incredible talent pool. Once again, I was back in love with the college. I have to admit that the intervening period had somewhat doused my faith in IIMC. I had met and interviewed a few IIMCians who did not make the cut. That was, personally speaking, disappointing. Considering how much of myself the college had helped me find, I expected better from its alumni. Forgive me for my ‘intellectual laziness’ (a termed refreshed by one of you that day), I was beginning to generalize that the good old ...

Always polite, always firm, and yet, almost always open to correction, this boss of mine held aloft several principles I stand by. He deserves an ovation for how he dealt with difference of opinion. He is grace personified. Amitabh Akhauri, our Boss, stands in the centre There comes the boss With the loud, roaring voice His height may seem threatening, But he’s full of little joys. He’s got a special way Of clearing through the clutter Decisions, tough or easy, He takes them without a flutter. Strong where he must be Else smiling all throughout He’s humble, reflective, and kind He’s sure, he’s tough, he’s proud. He’s certainly a dear person A Gentleman to the core He infects happiness around him His going does leave us sore… His going does leave us sore…

They are everywhere. Slavering with stories and theories on women. They are found among both sexes. Gossiping about women is their chief pastime. Like herds, their thoughts on the subject are all the same. That women envy each other. That women can never be true friends with other women. That women are poor drivers. That women nag. That women are family breakers. That parenting is a woman’s responsibility. That women are born to be homemakers. That career women are social threats. Etcetera.    “You know what, when we men become friends, we barely care about each other’s wealth or assets. We simply chill out. But when women are together, all they notice is the jewelry and clothes of other women.” I’ve heard self-appointed social commentators explain. Let’s ask them – do you remember the cars and official positions of your male friends? Yes, you do. Because you take interest in cars and designations. People remember what interests them. Social conditioning is a si...

I’ve heard uttered umpteen times: You’re the only girl I know who doesn’t love to shop! Personally, I take it as an assurance that the world hasn’t soiled me yet. I never liked pointless aimless wandering through streets (now malls) filled with goods and things. For as long as I remember, I considered it a waste of time and money. Neither did I have spare time then, nor do I have it today. Besides office, there are books to be read, feelings to be written, music to be danced to, chores to be completed, relationships to be watered, people to be helped, exercises to be done and inner thoughts to be indulged into. My buying behaviour, therefore, is need-based and point-to-point. I shop alone, and I shop quick. I belong to the old-school believers of the maxim: One who dies with most toys, is dead anyway. Understandably, my clothes and stuff last me a decade! But there was a time when I did like buying for requirements (since necessity is a relative term). But a few years ago,...

Paneer, or cottage cheese, is by far the most popular dish among vegetarian Indians. It hardly lets you down, whether you take a few minutes to prepare it, or indulge in painstaking procedure. The taste of paneer per se is rich and delectable. Whatever your ingredients, irrespective of your cooking history, anything edible thrown around paneer acquires a unique flavour. And so I’d joke, that it would take talent to ruin something so facile as paneer. Till I met some people who seemed perfectly talented for such endeavours. Forget paneer, they could ruin anything, without touching them, with devastating ease. Provided they are the Boss. Imagine you are a cook. And you have a boss who’s not done much cooking. There are two ways he could go around monitoring your work. Boss 1 He asks you to prepare a particular paneer dish. After all, it doesn’t take to be a cook to know your taste buds. So, he gives you a clear brief. Not on the process, but on the product. You get...

“There is a difference between the dishonest bribe and the honest bribe. The dishonest bribe is the same in every country, but the honest bribe is India's alone.” - Gregory David Roberts, Author of Shantaram Transparency International (TI), the international NGO leading the fight against corruption , defines the malaise as ‘the abuse of entrusted power for private gain’. In simple words, corruption implies the unjust use of power either to withhold rightful dues or to provide undue favours. TI’s Corruption Perceptions Index places India at 94 th position out of 176 countries, reinforcing the perception that corruption is an accepted way of life in the Indian subcontinent. In trying to understand the role of technology in fighting corruption, it is important to understand what causes corruption in the first place. The reasons can broadly be classified into two categories: One, of human frailties, such as greed, impatience and lack of values, and two, of syste...

“Whose class is this? And why are you shouting like hooligans?” Kamakshi Mukherjee ma’am glared at us with eyes that Bengali women can file patent for. A class of 40 teenagers in complete bedlam came to a stand-still. Pin-drop silence. No student dared to move under the extra high scanning power of Ms Mukherjee’s eyes. Satisfied with the intended effect, she went on, “who’s the monitor of this class?” A petite Sumita came out of the third row, head bent in shame that only good souls carry for others’ mistakes . Probably Ms Mukherjee took pity on this harmless looking girl, for all we heard was a strict warning and some inaudible murmurings of Sumita…of the math’s madam being absent and the zero class teacher being untraceable. Ms Mukherjee didn’t waste time in hearing Sumita’s defense. She threw her all-pervasive look once again, and raised a stern pointer to her lips. We got the message loud and clear. When Ms Mukherjee was separated from us by more than a floor (we ...