life's a kick

Years ago, a friend of mine committed a professional blunder. There was a printing mistake in a piece of collateral involving the corridors of power. The mistake was such that it rendered the whole project useless. Worse, some of the printed material had been distributed. Which meant that along with wasted money, we were now dealing with a reputational blemish.  Since the stakes were high, the matter escalated in no time. The department head was summoned to task. A fearless and frank professional, this person was widely respected for her sharp acumen and transparent dealings. And as is the case with calmly confident people like her, she was a perceived threat to several insecure co-workers. The latter, therefore, jumped at this opportunity to magnify this mistake and make it bigger than it was.  The news was as much a shock to her as it was to the stakeholders. She had, of course, signed the final bill and given the final go-ahead. She had assigned the work to one o...

  Some folks have it. The ability to talk for hours without meaning a thing. Hi, I am Jargon. I come in handy to disguise shallow language sense. I even save the day if you lack the courage to speak the truth. I usually seek time to check and get back to you, because I know how short your attention span is, and how you’re going to forget this after six seconds. I am great at specifying the need to peel the onion before getting into the task because I dread working. See, I just gave the Hindi idiom of pyaaz chheelna a new lease of life. As they say, old wine in a new bottle. Wink wink. I’m often banking on the synergy of other people because I am unparalleled at social loafing. This is why I insist on touching base, and not dissecting through. When I’m borrowing other people’s original thoughts, you may label them as stealing, but I’m actually curating thoughts and experiences for a bleeding edge customer experience. I love the creative stuff. Or the disruptive stuff. Take yo...

  The work of leadership profiling entails both – the portrayal of the edifice and its continuous upgrading Every time I have seen vacancies for the Communications function solely harping on ‘Branding and PR’, I have cringed inside. The ask is so little. One of the earliest and best examples of Leadership Branding that we know of exists in popular folklore of Akbar and Birbal. The former is a king and a venerated leader, and the latter his sharp and witty counsel. As a court advisor to the king, Birbal not only adds sheen to Akbar’s popularity, but foundational strength to his leader’s rule. The instances are galore. He helps his leader understand the ground realities of his gemba . He comes to the rescue of those who may be suffering injustice at the hands of the leader. He educates and sensitizes his leader on the changing spirit of times, keeping Akbar updated with news and views. He even manages to prick the ego bubble that the leader sometimes lapses into. He does all this w...

  Who are we? Genuine seekers or under-cover hypocrites garbed as intellectuals? It is true that there are good, average, and bad employers. It is equally true that there are forever dissatisfied employees asking for more. That’s why there are consultants and agencies selling us the dream of contented and happy employees. They know it’s a matter of dreams alone. Let’s get realistic. We are human beings. We are never satisfied with what we get. If the salary doesn’t have a variable component, we’re like: Where the additional ‘incentive’ to perform? If the salary does have a variable amount, we hate that uncertainty. If we get 30% of our incentive, we bemoan the remaining that doesn’t come by. If we get the full amount, we compare it against 3x incentives received by our friends in the banking sector (never mind the working hours). If we don’t have a job rotation policy, we feel stagnated. If we have a job rotation policy, we feel our competitive advantage isn’t used best. If the o...

“Ae sun, main tera naam bhool gayi” (Hey there, I forgot your name). She remarked with cocky impudence, pointing her index finger in his face. “Shukriya bhagwaan ka ki bhool gayi” (Thank God you forgot it). He spat back with matching distaste. Face deadpan. Eyes challenging. Two seconds later, they burst out laughing. She slapped him on the back, and he jumped as though bitten by a snake. Smiling ear to ear, the two proceeded in opposite directions. She, the store GM. He, the pantry boy. This is what the woman looked like, smiling and professional, draped in a perfect sari  All this transpired in ten seconds, while I was waiting my turn for using the washroom. Rewind 30 minutes. I was out shopping at this store in Connaught Place with my mother. We were trying (like all good Indian buyers) to get some discount on the stated price. That’s when we were introduced to this woman, the Store Manager. She heard us patiently on how we’d sworn by the store for the l...

Always polite, always firm, and yet, almost always open to correction, this boss of mine held aloft several principles I stand by. He deserves an ovation for how he dealt with difference of opinion. He is grace personified. Amitabh Akhauri, our Boss, stands in the centre There comes the boss With the loud, roaring voice His height may seem threatening, But he’s full of little joys. He’s got a special way Of clearing through the clutter Decisions, tough or easy, He takes them without a flutter. Strong where he must be Else smiling all throughout He’s humble, reflective, and kind He’s sure, he’s tough, he’s proud. He’s certainly a dear person A Gentleman to the core He infects happiness around him His going does leave us sore… His going does leave us sore…

Paneer, or cottage cheese, is by far the most popular dish among vegetarian Indians. It hardly lets you down, whether you take a few minutes to prepare it, or indulge in painstaking procedure. The taste of paneer per se is rich and delectable. Whatever your ingredients, irrespective of your cooking history, anything edible thrown around paneer acquires a unique flavour. And so I’d joke, that it would take talent to ruin something so facile as paneer. Till I met some people who seemed perfectly talented for such endeavours. Forget paneer, they could ruin anything, without touching them, with devastating ease. Provided they are the Boss. Imagine you are a cook. And you have a boss who’s not done much cooking. There are two ways he could go around monitoring your work. Boss 1 He asks you to prepare a particular paneer dish. After all, it doesn’t take to be a cook to know your taste buds. So, he gives you a clear brief. Not on the process, but on the product. You get...

“I learned all about life with a ball at my feet.” -           Ronaldinho, Brazilian footballer Chances are that a 13 year old boy raised on the streets of Kolkata would know more about Ronaldinho than the rest of us would. Traditionally, football is a sport played with religious fervor in the eastern belt of our country. It’s not uncommon for youth of Bengal to dream of becoming renowned national players. In the year 2000, one such teenager from the heart of Kolkata, Lal Kamal Bhaumick (then 13), with dreams in his eyes and football in his dreams, found himself in the SAIL Football Academy in Bokaro Steel City. Today, Lal Kamal plays for the United Sports Club, for an annual package of Rs 85 lakhs. For someone who has been through difficult days of sustenance, the story of rise of Lal Kamal Bhaumick is a study in courage and talent promoted by corporate intervention. Inspiration Incarnate: Lal Kamal Bhowmick For f...

As the swanky white car came around the bend of the porch, I narrowed my eyes to search its occupant. I had been waiting for ten minutes, and it was a dry, drab, professional wait. More to help himself, the person standing behind me offered an explanation for the white wonder. “It’s my car, you know,” he said with undisguised heroic. “I prefer BMWs”, he added to complete the kill. I wonder the range of reactions I could have given him. I enjoyed thinking it up: (with big suggestive eyes) “Oh yah? If I sit in your car looooong enough, will you give me one of your cars that you DON’T prefer?” (the complete baby look) “But what is the full form of BMW, sir?” (the naughty-you look) “And so do the brats who mow down street dwellers” I have a feeling he would have loved the above reaction. (flatly) “What’s the big deal? I’ve done it in a Hummer.” (bluntly) “I still prefer my office peon.” (laughing) “You bet I sleep better in my chartered bus!”  (matter-of-factly) “I pr...

A conference room turned studio. A young girl and a coroporate-ish looking man are laughing self consciously, feeling silly and witty respectively. The set is ready, and on they go: Girl: Mr Pyarelaal, thanks for joining us…. Pyare (interrupting): call me Pyare, please Girl (unprepared for this intrusion, racing her mind to pick up script lines): Oh! Umm…sure…umm…Pyare ji, thanks for joining us on this show Pyare gives her a smile that would have appeared hilariously constipated to anyone on the road, but in the corporate world, it is read as a grateful gesture. Girl: so Pyare, you’ve been elevated to the post of Director (Pyaar). This is unprecedented in the history of any corporate. What made this possible? Pyare: Gifts. Girl (flabbergasted): What? The anchor is surprised. Even she knew the truth, but didn’t expect this uncharacteristic candour from Pyarelaal. She didn’t know he was prepared. Pyare (with the air of a sanyaasi): You see, life is a gift. Our birth ...