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Showing posts from 2012

Rape

“Listen, don’t cry…I agree what happened is horrible, but don’t let it get to you so deep that it disturbs you to this extent”, said a friend over phone, concern clouding his voice. But I could not. I still can’t. Ever since I understood rape, I’ve never been able to ‘take it easy’. I’ve taken it rather hard, sledgehammer hard. I remember when I was very young, some age in school, when I comprehended the meaning of rape. The first emotion was that of intense anger. Of mad outrage that sent me into fits of savage tears. Of blinding humiliation. ‘I’d much rather be killed than raped’, I would think. Overwhelmed with a shudder of shame, the utter loss of face. Gang rapes terrified me. The very idea of a girl set against a group…was so so unsettling that rape news jangled my nerves for weeks and months. That a man, or worse still, a group of men, should gratify themselves by such use of force on an unwilling girl – the extreme inhumanity of this act, the total disregard of a woman’s p

of oomph, passion and love - Ballet.

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When you watch a ballet, you understand what ‘breathtaking’ means. It means that the air leaves your lungs, and does not return, because your body is too busy assimilating the enormity of its experience. Ballet is an art in weightlessness. The dancer is a feather on stage, lifting her weight off the floor even before she has landed. Her body is unbelievably flexible. She can turn it, unturn it, twist it, bend it, lift it, throw it, collapse it – all with the same ease of a smooth hosepipe. You might have seen countless ballet pictures, but none of them, no matter how well taken, can ever make you travel the distance between the photo and the act. It is only when your jaw drops, when your hands rise in applause but halt midway, because you can’t afford to disturb what the eyes are absorbing, that you realise what ballet is. I was expecting a great show when i went to watch the Russian "Bolshoi" Ballet and Marinsky and Mikhailovsky Theatres, as part of festival of Rus

Olympics aha!

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Pump up the adrenaline tighten your grip clench your jaw see not the opponent's skin for the colour of blood is red rush it to your head. re-define resilience BLEED yourself target the brink. surpass it. Abandon Caution. Worship Aggression. Chase Passion. have no mercy love extremes. FOCUS. you were born to live these chosen moments. redeem your life. Fight. Fury. Slit. Sweat. Temper. Tears. Push beyond reason. Be mad. When you play the game, give it your ALL.

more than everything

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More than the weight of your amazing body thrust lovingly on mine... more than the moist caress of your closed lips on the valley of my bosom... more than the hungry search of your fingers from my head to toe... more than the gaping brush your mouth filling crevices of my being... more than the biting-squeezing-tearing hurry of frenzied love... more that the shocking thwack of flesh setting alight delicious flames on my body... more than the near vindictive kiss with my head turned wild in your grip... more than the playful roll of your tongue on my melting burning ear... I love the sweet lingering smell of your sweat rubbed off on my skin for i end up crazy, mad, possessed besotted with myself, enamored within.

Only yesterday

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Only yesterday i chanced upon the wellspring of my life only yesterday i set eyes on the darling of my life he asks me what i derive from just looking at him my lips part in answer in silence my eyes brim i run my palms through his hair and hold him tight to my chest he's that one rain i pine for in him i find love, in his arms, i rest.

I know you know girl

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i know you feel the weight of my eyes on your back i know it's me you search for when your head keeps turning to the track i know you hear me whisper tender words into your ear a thread of love runs down your spine you're immersed in me, i'm so near i know you dream of me tracing fingers down your skin i fathom the depth of your longing the line between us, so thin i know i'm always besides you and in every moment we commune our chemistry inimitable, pure, perfect an orchestra never out of tune i know baby, that you love me a fact you haven't and can't deny your face, eyes and touch connote meanings that words can't even try

some pain, is good

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A certain amount of pain, of unfulfilment, is good. it adds the passion to your dance it stirs up the melody in your song it lends a little sorrow to your writing it increases the length of your breath it slows down your gait a bit it heightens your observation it deepens your speech it mellows down your temper it replaces anxiety with patience it makes you kinder than necessary it makes you more aware of yourself So, a certain amount of pain IS good. P.S. - You see darling, you might not be with me, but you still help me grow.

वो आखें, मेरी हैं

हाँ , वहीं. ठीक उसी पेड़ के नीचे, नहीं ज़मीन पर नहीं, उस पेड़ की छाया के बीच...जड़ से ऊपर और पत्तों से नीचे, वहीँ कहीं रहती हैं आज कल मेरी आँखें. एक ज़माना था जब तुम रोज़ वहां से कम से कम दो बार तो गुज़रते थे। सुबह और शाम। मुझे याद है। अगर पेंट करना जानती तो ठीक उतार देती। तुम्हारे बदन की बनावट, तुम्हारी दूसरी दुनिया की हसीं, तुम्हारे आँखों की चमक, तुम्हारा भौहें उठाकर चिढाना, तुम्हारी शहद में डूबी हुई उँगलियाँ, यहाँ तक की तुम्हारी खुशबू भी। हूबहू 3डी बना देती, अगर बना पाती.  हाँ, तो मेरी आँखें। मुहावरों की दुनिया में सुना था पलके बिछा कर इंतज़ार करना. पर आँखों को किसी किनारे सौंप आना? सरासर बेवकूफी है। मेरी दो बेवक़ूफ़ आँखें महीने भर से तुम्हें एक झलक देखने के लिए मर रहीं है। सुबह तो मानो एक उन्माद सा  छा जाता है उनपर. तुम्हारे पूरे इलाके के चक्कर काटती हैं। ठीक उस मक्खी की तरह जो खिड़की से बहार निकलने का दमतोड़ पर व्यर्थ प्रयास करती हैं। तुम्हे देखे बिना थोडा और सूख जाती हैं. दिन की गर्मी में पेड़ की छाओं में चंद लम्हों के लिए सो भी जाती हैं (अच्छा है, क्योंकि सपनों

leaf of hope

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hope is a pale dry leaf fallen off an autumn tree tied to the heart with a thread restless, tireless, and free at the slightest hint it leaps wakes up with a happy start celebrating, dancing, rejoicing in joys that do not last time's gloomy winds bring it back to earth it still waits and holds out shaken, but never shattered lying soggy in the storm staring longingly in the blue that leaf of hope of mine dies daily...and is born anew

shurshuri

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in the curtained shadows of your room with loving, languorous fingers you wrote our tale of love on my body, sending down shivers gaseous is my existence ever since i survive in those places alone sinuous paths that your hands chose every stoppage, a milestone in those tracks, i live and thrive now in slumber, now in spasm memories surround me, in every detail not a single chink, nor any chasm your eyes follow me, your breath on my face your being stalks me wherever i go tufts of your hair still caught in my clutch i smell you everywhere, i love you so 

Chocolate boy

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Oh! Chocolate boy just why do you run for watching you do that is so much fun! clutching your shirt pocket in a perpetual state of hurry dodging traffic, speeding past like a squirrel on a spree! all your hair in a mess bobbing up and down your face a study in focus and taut in a pleasant frown.. not until you settled did you give out that smile distracting me forever lighting up my miles.. like a waif, my eyes now search those roads 'n places, for your face Oh! Chocolate boy, did you run away? please do show up, my breath's losing pace.. look how even skies understand how i can't cry despite this pain just so i can hide my tears in drops clouds became my eyes, and started to rain.

Haiku

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fresh spring of pain between love and longing since i saw you again world’s a loud silence I’m floating in your thoughts shaken off the balance it had to be fate for INTENSE was my need to meet my mate a half laugh, a half cry is a wringed heart’s response to life’s how and why my mind in your rein emotions throttle me since I saw you again

Background

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   i i           it's twilight and the air is thick with the scent of magnolia trees we lie entwined among shadows clothes flapping, caught in breeze it's raining a musical pitter-patter blazing roads gurgle with delight running recklessly laughing raucously we're engrossed in a loving fight it's summer relentlessly hot sapped of life, short of breath lovingly caressing with cool fingers we soak up each other's sweat dewy dawn birds calling out blast of orange, the sky is ablaze half-awake in throes of love bodies melting in our passionate embrace your presence to me is a permanent background like the smell of one's own body like the hues of one's home your entire being stays in my eyes i'm absorbed in you, like honey in foam there's nothing i eat no sight i see no breath i take no time of glee when i'm not immersed, deep and true in moods 'n emotions, laden

Inebriation

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I lift my lashes carrying the weight of a hundred dreams, loaded with unspeakable fantasies, adorned with flowers of desire laced with luscious little plans I lift my lashes, to look at you oh! What I see in your eyes is a look to match mine the eyes of a loving opponent challenging, luring, warning dark secrets and darker promises lurking in the shadow of your lashes an unsaid confession brimming in the twin seas of love soon, our eyes get locked in an embrace hooked in a dizzying stare the world around us spins flowing between our eyes is a river of love the eyes start talking love talk nude, hungry, passionate intoxicating a fire glazes our eyes as the rest of us melts in the heat and dissolves in the kernel of our eyes a sinking heart an unhinged head a wobbly knee and drunk eyes …call out to you In a land far away from our reach beyond space and time our eyes are seeing, and doing wild acts of love…

militant eyes

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Unannounced Unexpected and totally unwarranted your earthy eyes flash before my face stunned, I hold my heart from breaking and my throat hurts and a knife slices my back Flashes merge in a film your eyes first pure as a stream the color of earth love longing and loyalty mixed in the sphere of your eyes my then world then your laughter child-like but bold loud and ringing often breathless in which we’d swim through life in perfect sync your speech, aah those words! of rebel and truth jagged, serrated, hitting. as you mercilessly and thankfully opened the gates of wisdom of searching and quest to my ignorant mind and made me me. As I sit today Looking back on life I laugh Inadvertently, meaninglessly The paths we choose The roads we dismiss The persons we become The ideals we aspire I laugh at them all At myself For I know nothing.

Dance

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I do not know how I came to love it. What I know is that it is life to me. It’s an escape. It’s a quick route to trance. It’s oxygen when I’m breathless. It’s love when I’m lonely. It’s laughter when I’m torn. Food when I’m famished. Silence in crowd. Stillness in motion. Magic in madness. I could say a hundred things that it is, but not a single thing it is not. It is THAT close to my life. Someone said it’s a silent poetry. So damn right. And so damn incomplete. Try dancing. I don’t know if that happens with you, but I can vouch for myself. See me dancing if you doubt my claim. So, try dancing. It can start from the tap of your thinking feet or the electric spasms in your fingers. Give it a chance, let it flow. Let it flood your veins. Feel it in your gut. Hear the music reverberate in your brain. Experience the gush of energy. Don’t stop it, don’t disturb it. You don’t even need to mould it. Stupid, bold, shy, uncouth, free, loud, slow…just anything. All you have to do, is